Brainstorming about guys and girls

In 2011, I was talking to my neighbor and got into the age old discussion about guy/girl expectations. I figured I'd better publish it before I started changing things so that I could see what I thought about this topic in 2011 later on in life and see how I've grown.


As I was watching Mad Men, I thought that it would be interesting to compile some thoughts.

Here are some things I currently think are important as of 2011.
(Don't hold me to them later on in life. I am just interested in documenting them to see how they compare to what I think is important later on in life.)

He or she almost always brings light to your eyes and makes you look forward to seeing them again. She has to be happy and make you happy, referred to as the "lavender haze" in Mad Men.

Not violent. Doesn't raise his or her voice when talking unless there is an emergency. Loud and angry voices increase stress and i don't need that.

Is able to talk things out and is able to accept you, your perceived flaws, differences in opinion, and actions. They like you for the person you are.

Does not make rash decisions or actions. Not quick to burn bridges. Won't irrationaly break something. --comes from watching Mad Men. I cannot believe that one guy dropped a turkey and platter his wife had made out the apartment window 20 flights up. The same guy told his father in law to close the account he'd given him because the father in law threatened to put the account up for a 90 day review hoping he would turn his personal life with his daughter, the guy's wife, around. That is rash, dude.

Not manipulative in a bad way. Doesn't hold grudges. Won't kick you out of the house. - Mrs. Draper

Seductive. I like a girl that takes initiative. Some people are hard to read, so obvious indicators are quite appreciated.

I don't think all girls want a sexy, seductive guy. The very vocally pious girls I know typically say "All's fair after the wedding", but I just don't see a lot of them as being very intimate very often. The ones I've talked to have told me that they don't plan on being on birth control even after they get married, though they may have the guy use some. This is in line with the statistic I read that people who are taught abstinence-only are less likely to use any sort of birth control when they do get it on. Many of them also said that they would want to get intimate maybe once a week once married. I really hope to have a lot more passion than that in my marriage. Sheesh. I know not all of them are like that, but I'm  just going off what I've been told firsthand by a few people I've talked to.

I keep pondering this one.
Part of me has grown up thinking I need to end up with someone at least as accomplished as me, more so perhaps, so I at least have the perception that I'm dating up and not down. Imagine going through life thinking you could have done better but are stuck with an impulse or guilted decision. What would I bring to a girl that was more accomplished than me though? I read that guys who date up tend to have longer lasting relationships because they work harder to keep the girl as opposed to trying to control her because he thinks of himself as superior and making her unhappy. However, as I've become exposed to more people, there is a chance that I could be enchanted by someone totally different, perhaps without a formal education but who was still well spoken and seductive. I don't know.--(I'm reviewing this a year later and don't know why I said "without much formal education". Maybe I'd met someone who hadn't finished college that made my knees weak when I met her. I'm not sure.) I'd also keep in good shape (unlike people that would let themselves go), only take jobs that would let me take vacations with my family

Spearheads planning things for the other person with their input. It makes the other person feel worthwhile.

Doesn't talk to make people feel guilty too often and rub it in.-Mrs. Draper is just bitter and mean after thinking her husband cheated, regardless of what he does and says and what is good for the kids.

Doesn't let anger for one person flow over to others, especially kids or me (though I can take it, but it can wear me down after while).

Takes responsibility. It's attractive.
This doesn't mean take responsibility for things you had no control over. That's just excessive. You can offer ways to help though.

Doesn't really get exasperated or overwhelmed.
--One person I met got angry and frustrated when her phone's Google Maps wasn't working and we were going to meet at a place to go running. When I asked her to go to the nearest intersection to tell me the two cros streets so I could bike over and meet her there, she texted back that it was too much and too confusing and that she was just going to go home and that we should reschedule. I ended up biking 10 miles instead of 4 that day because of poor communication on her end, but I ended up running with her. She was very surprised to see me, I told her, "I guess most of your friends aren't this persistant." We had a good run. I do try to go the extra mile (or 6) for people I hope care about me, even potentially.

Is able to rationally deal with rough events.
When I'm between job contracts, I don't cry, I start making side cash by buying more road bikes for $100-380 and resell them for about $725 and buy MacBook Pros for $610-1,200 and sell them for $1,200 to $1,550, in addition to doing interviews, which covers my monthly expenses. I consider that fiscally responsible, at least in the short term. I would like a passive income coming in though too.

Doesn't use huge generalizations in a serious way.
It makes you look like you haven't been exposed to enough of the real world to know that people are individuals. Identifying smaller sub-groups can be more acceptable.
When a girl says, "All guys want is to..." instead of "Most guys I've come across so far have wanted to..." it throws up an orange flag. Too many times can get to be a red flag.

--
There are some non-obvious dos and don'ts when talking to someone.

Some people don't like hearing about what you did with your ex.
Some people think it is mood killer and you don't want the other person comparing his or herself to other people. The pro of doing it is hearing about things the person has done, or is willing to do. Phrasing is key. Instead of saying, "We went snowboarding." You can say, "I think snowboarding would be/is pretty great." even if you have already done it.
--
Feb 1, 2013

My cousin, a girl, asked if it would be ok for her to snuggle up to various guys on various nights, maybe make out with a few of them as long as she isn't in an exclusive relationship. Is it any different for a guy? Is that kind of what happens on dates? Is what you do with anyone else fine, as long as you don't pick up an STI? -Something an acquaintance said about his feelings when dating girls he didn't think he would marry.


What is someone supposed to do if they ave a strong desire for affection, but haven't met the person they think they will marry yet?

How do you know when you meet the right person?

When do you know you have faults you need to change?

Feb. 2
A while a

So I've been using Chase Quick Pay and wanted to know a bit more about it, especially after getting a credit card which gives you cash back every time you use it. I was originally looking to see if I could use my credit card to send money to my friend, instead of my bank account, so I get cash back, and him not be charged a fee when I use my credit card instead of my bank account, but got sidetracked by this article.

http://www.gobankingrates.com/banking/checking-accounts/does-chase-quickpay-really-live-up-to-promise/

As long as you have a Chase account, it isn't a bad way to recieve money (since at least one person has to be a Chase customer in each transaction which I read and you can't expect all your friends to have a Chase account), as long as you can wait up to a week to have it show up in your account. So if you are living paycheck to paycheck, you may want to consider a cash-is-king mentality. If not, it is a pretty easy way to transfer money and have a record of it. Not sure if it is worth getting a Chase account yet.

Paypal lets you transfer from bank account to bank account for free, fees apply if you pay with a credit card (Hence, my original question if Chase charged someone more if I paid with a cash back credit card), and then for sellers, $.30 + 2.9% of the transaction (which if you sell something at a 10% profit margin, really cuts into your profit.

https://cms.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/?cmd=_render-content&content_ID=marketing_us/fees

I may still be a bigger fan of PayPal for now since you don't need to open a Chase account and if you have over 100 feedback, all 100% positive on eBay like me, you probably already have a PayPal account. (Admittedly, i sell more stuff on Craigslist so I don't have to pay the fee and because I can get more money out of the people on Craigslist since Craigslist doesn't have the completed listings to show what things have actually sold for.

Some of the things I've done

June 2015: I performed my first oil change on my car. I did a lot of oil and fuel filter research and came to the conclusion that you should buy your own oil with the recommended viscosity (Mine is 5W-20) and to buy 5 quarts of Mobile 1 synthetic for $23.88 at Walmart. Pennzoil synthetic is also fine. Then also get a Motorcraft, Mobile 1, Bosch, or Wik filter, also found at Walmart for $4-$11. Then just call around to local shops and see how much they will charge just for labor if you have your own oil and filter. It should be between $15-27 for labor. This gives you a Full Synthetic oil change (vs the cheap conventional or blended oil) with a much better filter than the cheap filters they give you at Jiffy Lube and Firestone for a total cost of $45-60. (Or do it yourself, but you'll need ramps or jacks, a funnel, wrench for the oil plug, strap wrench to get the old filter off, an oil pan, and two jugs for the 5 quarts of old oil which you will have to give to a Jiffy Lube or Firestone along witht he old oil filter, for free, for proper recycling.

I also got in the top 25% at Leon's triathlon. (Top 40% for my gender and age group.)

May 2015: I now have memberships to the Museum of Science and Industry as well as Adler Planetarium

October 2014: Went to a credit card processing seminar at Motor City Casino in Detroit, then traveled to Providence, Rhode Island and toured the State Building the day before Obama visited the city. I got my picture with the painting of George Washington that is used on the quarter and the podium Obama would be speaking from in that room. I also had a personal tour by the caretaker of the First Baptist Church in the US and it lasted over two hours because there was so much history about the state, the people, and founder of Providence. Also went to New York and saw "On The Town" at the Lyric Theater on Broadway and saw "Dirty Dancing" at the Fox Theater in St. Louis the week after.

Fall 2014: Volunteered at and ran the Chicago 8 mile Super Spartan Race, then ran the 15 mile Beast then 7 mile Ohio Sprint Spartan Races back to back a weekend or two later. Also competed in the Sprint distance Chicago Triathlon (since the Olympic was sold out.)

Fall 2014: Traveled to Yellowstone National Park. Got to do a morning run and see four of the primary geysers vent while we passed them. We were among the very few people that were allowed to walk up to the roof of the Yellowstone Lodge and raise the flags on the top of the building.

August/March 2014: Traveled to Germany, Switzerland, Italy, and Greece. Sparta was small. Athens was huge. Italian and Greek public bathrooms didn't have TP or running faucet water. The tax rates in Italy are so high, business do all they can to avoid paying any tax.

Late January 2014: Watched Forks Over Knives and Food Inc. at the suggestion of two friends. It basically associates meat, corn, and sweeteners for obesity, cancer,  I immediately changed my diet, with the help of a vegan friend that had lost a lot of fat, to include massive amounts of vegetables and reduced my meat and dairy intake. Though, if someone makes the meatloaf from Better Homes and Gardens, I will totally eat the whole thing. A few weeks later, after dropping 7 lbs, I craved meat and pizza so badly, I gained it all back in few days.

January 2014: Went on a tour of the Lemp Mansion, allegedly one of the most haunted houses in the world. Several members of the beer barron's family died in the house, as did children when it was converted to a foster home.

December 2013: Visited my grandparents in New York, saw my first Broadway play "A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder", saw the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Museum of Natural History, and bartered with street vendors.

August/September 2013: Competed in the Olympic distance Chicago Triathlon and then I toured Ireland, Scotland, and England. It was pretty awesome.

March 2013, I recorded a 13 minute, very detailed comparison between the Dyson DC23 and the Dyson DC39, $300-$600 vacuum cleaners. I posted it, and it exploded. So I learned how to activate Google AdSense in October and made $200 in four months from ad revenue (minus taxes). I gotta make more videos.

February 2013, I became webmaster for a group of healthcare risk managers.

August 2012, a friend asked if I wanted to go to Pigeon Forge for a week long vacation. I got to plan it, and we did just about everything there was to do there, except hike the Smokey Mountains. We flew over the Smokey Mountains in a 1927 open cockpit biplane, flew in a Bell helicopter to see some more sights, and I went Zorbing three times. We also did flips and somersaults on zip lines, went outlet mall shopping, saw an air museum with a replica of the Air Wolf helicopter, which is a retro TV show similar to Knight Rider, but with a helicopter, that I coincidentally had just watched on Hulu the week before. We also went to Dollywood (basically a themed Six Flags). Good times.

June 2012 involved going to Washington D.C. and getting my picture with Clarence Thomas from the Supreme Court as well as the Sergeant Major of the U.S. Army Raymond F. Chandler III, toured the Capitol building and White House, visited Mt. Vernon (George Washington's estate), and went to several Smithsonian museums. The day I got back, I went sailing on Lake Michigan.

May 2012, I ran the Soldier Field 10 mile at an average pace of 8:01 minutes/mile. Then I walked/jogged another 9 miles with a friend an hour later. The next day I biked 42 miles during Bike the Drive and another 10 to hang out with a friend later on. The day after that, my roommates and I used a Living Social deal and played paintball for 5 hours outdoors. That has to be a personal record.

In April 2012, I was selling someone a MacBook Pro and instead of grabbing his wallet he grabbed a revolver and said to give him the computer and he tried to grab it. There is a story there that involves me slobbering on his arm. I ended up selling the MacBook Pro to someone else who brought cash an hour later. One of the most random stories you may hear.

In March 2011, just to say I did, I played amateur "ghost hunter" in the Morse Mill mansion thanks to Groupon.
 
Later, I compiled some numbers that tracked the average cost of ownership of over 10 different vehicles, including depreciation, annual fuel cost based on fuel economy, insurance, maintenance and repairs on that make and model, etc. (Who does that? Right?) Some brands cost a lot more to maintain than others. If you are curious how much it would cost to buy and maintain a 2007 Nissan Altima for 5 years, check it out by clicking the link. http://www.edmunds.com/nissan/altima/2007/tco.html?style=100822188

February of 2011, went on a winter survival camping outing in 8 degree weather using only a blue tarp and some twine I'd tied between two trees for my shelter. I had heard about ultra light backpacking (not using tents) and felt like trying it. I used to help out with my brother's Boy Scout troop as an adult leader before I moved out here.

10/10/10 was my first day on a actual road bike, I rode 100 miles for TrailNet's Century Bike Ride. It took me less than 10 hours (including a few 30 minute to hour long breaks). Easy to remember. Right? I'd used the same 24" kid's size mountain bike from the age of twelve through college and had been on one 20 mile ride before that. I had carried one of my friends who didn't have a bike on the back pegs I'd installed on mine so a group of us could hang out by a lake in college.

Fall 2010: Went to California and hiked Half Dome Mountain in Yosemite, backpacked and slept on the top of a mountain in a backpacking tent. Stayed in San Fransisco in one of the pastel buildings on an extreme sloping road. Visited Pier 39, toured the WWII submarine, and saw an Irish relative. Toured the Ripley's Believe It Or Not!

References you should know

When talking with people, they may say some strange things that make no sense. In actuality, if you both know what the reference is, it can be hilarious! So you need to brush up on the things that could be referenced.

I'd like to update this page with more popular references, but I just got introduced to the BadLipReading channel on YouTube and some of these are pretty great.

WARNING: The content below may get stuck in your head.

Ok, all of the BadLipReading songs are much funnier if you look in the comments section and watch the original video before they stripped the audio and added their own lyrics and music.

Russian Unicorn is just funny, a little inappropriate though for some people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjaZNYSt7o0
"I've got a porcupine called Zazoom, he leaves his scent on people's graves."
"I had a cold one time, then I licked myself."
"The night is young now baby, we can shoot a Russian Unicorn. "
"We're gonna do it on the couch while my roomie's out... hiking."
"So take it off and bite your tongue."
"A Hot Pocket for twenty cents is a deal any day of the week."
"I pee peed in your glove. Soon you'll start to smell it."
"I don't want the keys to your van. What I need is a rare, vermilion, Ukrainian unicorn."
"I should not have ate those Cajun rice and beans."
"Them strawberries look juicy."
"I've got your Barbie zuchini. Happy Monsoon Day."
"I poisoned my dog so he can't keep chasing that baby giraffe."
"I'm gonna save a mental kitty."

Spoof on the Black Eyed Peas called "Everybody Poops"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQTW7Pd1vqc
Possible Quotes
"Everybody poops and if they don't they're an android and should be destroyed."
Or just shouting out, "Piano!"-shout randomly
"Hero!"-shout randomly
"Dumping my log"
"Poo poo"

Spoof of Party in the USA by Miley Cirus called "Black Umbrella"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5IUihNuno
"Windmill".... totally randomly
"Black Umbrella" (on tune drawing out the 'l's)
"We smoking the right stuff"
"Extra lemon in my Diet Snapple makes a girl happy, oh yeah. That's right."
"They got me jamming from head to toe"
"Gonna have a bonfire tonight"
"Why did they treat me like I didn't understand trigonometry and ti chi, inverse cosine there's never gonna be a better padiwan than me"
"Tiny Timmy Tokyo"
"And I'm pregnant" (smile)
"Get dumb and bang a wizard"
"Let's buy two big industrial sized windmills? I already got one.Who needs three? Well the first one, I broke it."
"Samurai"
"I'm trying to find my shrimp in the cabbage patch. Pink spaghetti"
"I'm flying and my crew is on the floor"


Though not a BadLipReading video, I was in confusion and shock watching this video. My ears were thrown off by the tone deafness.


Hot Problems
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__HeE6NWmDE
I really can't tell if these girls are tone deaf and trying or doing a decent parody of these types of songs.
I can't keep a straight face...
"Hot girls we have problems too, we're just like you, except we're hot...hot...hot"
"The whole world needs to open their eyes, and realize were not perfect and sometimes we lie.. just kidding. We're perfect."

Don't leave your computer unlocked in a bank in Mexico.

Someone from a Mexican bank showed me a common practice in Mexico for not password locking your computer when you are away.
Someone, generally the co-worker next to you, will see your computer logged on and you not there, so they will quickly log onto their coworker's e-mail and send an e-mail to their own e-mail saying, "Breakfast tomorrow is on me!" Then he or she will go back to his computer and forward that e-mail to all 20 people in the team with the additional comment, "Maria is happy to pay for/bring breakfast tomorrow." 
Then the person who left their computer unlocked brings tacos and quesadillas for everyone. (I asked him how would people think of you if you brought a box of cereal and told people to bring their own milk? Culturally, he said, you don't pull something like that.)
The purpose of this practice is to make sure people are in compliance with the policy to never leave their computers logged on when they are away.

Meatloaf recipe

Better Homes and Gardens new cook book

Flying fish restaurant