Communicate with them as much as they feel you should. If it is too much for you, write them off as high maintenace for you. Not having agreed upon expectaions seems to be what hurts people. don't try to hurt people. "using" someone is too vague. You can use someone for whatever "selfish" [referring to john stossel's report on greed] reason you have. Traditionally I think it means for in bed relations. But I feel it extends to more than that. Jim "uses" Mary for his manly release. Mary lets him because she [greedily] wants someone she feels is strong, that she can [potentially] talk to when things get rough for her, that she can rely on being ther for her [almost every night].... Coinsidence... Well he's there close to her almost every night... So isn't he there for her? Maybe not for the same reason... he may expect her to be low maintenance and applauds her for it... She smiles and
then keeps her emotional talk inside, hoping to not disrupt his idea of her being the perfect girl.

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